nintendofunclub:

c0caino:

Take your age and add 5 to it. That is your age in 5 years.

overtheunderpass:

“are you on your period”

why yes, i am bleeding today

would you like to join me

jadedgalvanizer:

timelordsatan:

ambular-d:

pumpkinlessidjit:

i want there to be an angel that descends from the heavens only when someone is being stupid

and the angel just gently places their hand over the person’s mouth

and whispers in a voice filled with heavenly beauty and love

“no”

ANABIEL

LOOK IT UP

airagorn:

dumb story because i think i’m funny

we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered

‘hot wheels’

sorryforpartybarackin:

im no cactus expert, but i know a prick when i see one

bmoburns:

oomshi:

soup that tastes great is souper

may i interest you in a bowl of canned u not